This is 30.

30 or so years ago when I was a curly haired, sassy mouthed little kid, I used to begin a lot of conversations with

"When I was older..."

And no one used to correct me. Ma would let em babble, Dad would be working out downstairs, and I would just go on and on about extravagant things that at the time, probably made no sense. Last week as I had a head full of hair dye and 3 hours in the salon, my hair dresser and resident Buddha, Ashley, and I got into one of our standard 'everything is everything' conversations. We talked about Karma, we talked about past lives, we talked about how some souls are meant to meet and how others already knew each other before the #tbt era.

Whether you believe in past lives, karma, or that eating an apple a day will keep the doctor away, one thing that you should never question is that there are pieces of your core that you never grow out of.

And those pieces are part of what make you authentic to you. They are the pieces of your soul that have probably come the most natural to you but at the same time, may even scare you a bit. They're the details that once you feel comfortable with them you can't wait to share them with the rest of the world. They're the source of motivation to live out your best life and the energies that pull you towards what you crave deep down. They're the constant in your soul that stay the same when everything else around you is evolving.

The morning of my 30th birthday I woke up with a headache from too much sake, a stomach ache from my period, and a shoe full of dog shit from stepping in it. Throughout the day I thought about the women I've become from the experiences I've been through in the past 30 years and those core pieces that are emanating stronger than they have ever before. I couldn't help but be excited, proud, and hopeful for what's to come. When the night ended, I went to bed drunk from too much tequila, a face hurting from laughing so hard, Frankie, Nola + my fiance snoring in respective ears, and a Pedialyte next to my bed.

This is the beginning of my 'older' and I couldn't be more fucking pumped about it.

Art created by Caitlyn Johansen of Sunday Lane Studio


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